fucked

fucked.


that's the only word to describe me these past few days. yes that's in every sense of the word.

fasting starts tomorrow.

my family won't talk to me because they think i'm on drugs.

my stomach is fat.

i'm drunk. again.



i think i may be falling for the guy i have "casual sex" with.

i saw my first love with his new girlfriend tonight.
she is pretty.
i am not.








i forgot how nice it was to wake up in someone's arms.

someone who kisses your neck and your forehead.

someone who will make you feel beautiful.

for all of those precious few hours.

i have forgotten how to feel beautiful