Popping veins and forgotten love hearts.

I couldn't summon the will to get out of bed this morning. I slept until 12ish until I couldn't sleep anymore.

I glanced in the mirror. SHIT.
What the fuck has happened to my face, or more importantly, my eyelids.
All that purging last night has popped all the veins around my eyes, so not only am I fat, I am fat and ugly and look like I've been beaten up.

I've tried to be productive today, but mostly I've moved around furniture in my room, avoiding revison, watching Jeremy Kyle and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I had visions of have a massive clear out, clearing out all the shit in my life.

But mostly it just feels like I'm uncovering more shit, and after TWO years of him planting them around this room, I am STILL finding tiny red love heart sequins that my ex left as a surprise.

I found one and it felt like I'd been punched in the stomach.

I am going round in circles.


xxxx