I am a Vampire

Afternoon all, :)

Foodwise, today's been a bit shit, an apple and literally 3 bites of pasta and two sandwiches.. oh and some chocolate buttons.. fail..  was planning on purging but my friend rang.. and that was an hour or so ago.. and now its too late.

So although pretty bad, marginally better than the horrific amount I've been eating of late..

I've decided to adopt the thinking of a good vampire.
Yes.
I know that sounds so fucking stupid and lame BUT hear me out.
 I'm going to think of food as alive. Eating it is bad. Only eat when necessary; extreme cases.
Drinking fluids is okay.
But food is not.
Eating food leads to bad things.

Food is the enemy.
Food is the enemy.
Food is the enemy.

Wow Florence, you've truly lost it, (: haha.

Everyday I cycle past a small little museum on my way home from college, and I always think to myself, "Ah next time I'll go in..", or "I really must go there soon", but today I actually did something about it, so I locked up my bike, paid my £2 and wasn't really sure what to expect.

I know that the idea of a museum doesn't appeal to everyone, and many of you will be reading this like.. err .. okay.. but I love them, I love losing myself in the past, imagining how everything would have been, I find it a nice distraction. I'd also been feeling a little apprehensive as to whether I was making the right decision reading History at uni, but afternoons like today make me sure it's the right decision.

In other news, I went out monday night, as we had the day off college Tuesday, absoloutely everybody was out, it was fun, I was drunk, I told the boy I like I liked him.. I hate making myself vulnerable, my first love broke up with his new love and was trying it on all night, I'm so proud that I managed to resist him, my gay friend asked me to set him up with him .. It was a very confusing night..

I got back to my best friends at five or so and we cooked potato wedges and I passed out on the sofa.
Good times.

Bad times however is me looking through the photos on facebook now.. my face looks bloated disgusting and flabby, I wouldn't expect anything less after the way I've been eating. But eurgh, I am disgusting.

As I've mentioned before, I'm studying eating disorders in psychology at the moment, as we get further into the course the more and more uncomfortable I get in lessons. I go red, get panicy and clam up for an hour, and it's beginning to become the lesson I dread.



Last week we were doing about the causes of eating disorders and the biological approach, we also looked the evolutionary explanation, both basically say that this fucked up lifestyle we lead is predestined, we were innately born with this, and the environment triggers it for some people.. So for an hour I sit there listening to insensitive pricks drone on about how eating disorders are due to fucked up brain functioning and there's nothing to be done to stop that.

Where does that leave people who want to recover?

I'm not sure what I believe. I'm not sure I care. It's all relative.

By the way, this isn't me sailing off to recovery, I'm just raising the point.

This is one of my favourite thinspo pics.

She is beautiful.

ANYWAY. Hitler's rise to power awaits. Yay..

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx