La Roux, The Seaside and Pizza

Last night was a m a z i n g, I had such a good night.

I drank. Surprise surprise.
But stuck to vodka and sweated like a pig dancing.

We got some chips after, but they stayed in me all of five minutes and I weighed myself this morning and there was no change from yesterday, which is a fucking relief.

Today I went to visit where I'm going to uni, I fell in love with it.
The winding landscape and the never-ending sky is pure beauty. The smell of the sea and the breeze on the pier. And the winding alleyways of hidden gems and tiny pubs with so much character. AH I LOVE IT.

It felt safe.

I will spend the next three years pretending I'm a Mod from Quadrophenia, getting high and listening to Northern Soul and the Who.

With some History degree on the side.
Bring it on.

As for the rest of the day,
I had to have lunch with my dad, it was inescapable, Pizza Hut buffet.....
Lucky I brought 40 Ducolax whilst pops was in Waterstones..

I managed to purge a tiny bit too, but it was too risky as I didn't want to ruin the day with my dad.

xxxxxxxxx

Zombie

I literally walked around for the first half of the day feeling like I was about to keel over.
I couldn't even bring myself to bike in - I'm such a lazy fuck.

After two coffees and FOUR, yes FOUR bottles (500ml) of diet coke - I was starting to feel semi - normal, but in the last half hour since I've gotten home I've crashed again.

Am definitely going to have to whip out the old pro plus for La Roux tonight, I also figure the general sweatiness of the two and a half hour gig should be burning calories, I'm upping ftom 500 to 800 cals just for today, because I really am going to need my energy tonight.

Sorry I can't remember who posted this picture recently, but I felt it fitting for the post.

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Mars Ice Creams - 148 calories ; fucking amazing.

Sober.. continued

Apologies for the rushing below, and also for the atrocious spelling mistakes - my bad.

Ended up having a 200 calorie salad and quorn dinner - leaving me at a total of 500 calories for the day. My number.  :)

Feeling so tired so looking forward to bed this evening, I'm just going to force myself to finish some Psychology and give my room a hoover. What a wild life I'm leading.

Also, meant to be going to a party on Saturday dressed as a song title.. Any suggestions?

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Speaking of music - remember ages ago I said I'd do an Amy Winehouse post because I love her; I WILL do it soon I promise, but here is some thinspo of her anyway.

Sober

I am definitely back. And I love it.

Food is so easy to dismiss again. When my mind wanders in class, it's not to hunger, it is to ways to burn, and envisaging how I will look when I reach thin.

I can do this.

Enough of the la di da,
300 calories in counting today, soup for dinner.

I've set myself new targets in my diary, so fingers crossed.

I've made the executive decison to only drink once a week at social events, so I'm saving myseld for Saturday as I'm going to two parties, one after the other, and my best friend from London is coming up. Excited.

Going to La Roux tomorrow night, sober.

I have to go because I'm being kicked out the library for closing.

xxxxxxx

Paranoia

I was going to attempt to write a post in the college library, however people keep coming up behind me and writing it directly on to blogger is making me paranoid, thus this being typed directly into word – what a thrilling fact for you all to know.


I’ve got to bum around college for a few hours because I’ve got a work meeting at 6 and it just seems pointless to go home first, as home is on the other side of the city.

Food wise today could be better, could be worse.

Had a cheesy salad thing for lunch.. which I should have skipped but I’m just too fucking weak, (370 cals), followed by a FAB lolly, which tasted fucking good in the heat. (90 cals), planning on just telling my mum I ate at the work meeting tonight as they do generally have loads of food there, this means I have to remember also not to fucking eat at the work meeting.

Also, I biked my usual nine miles, so got some exercise in there too.

I keep saying fucking a lot today, apologies, I think the stress of everything is building, and I’m chain smoking like a motherfucker again. Whoops there goes my potty mouth again.

Never mind, no-one reads this shit anyway.

I really am putting off an essay due.

Instead I’m sitting here wishing vampires were real, reading your blogs, wishing I hadn’t had all my hair cut off and generally bathing in self loathing.

On a more positive note, I get paid on Friday – Hallelujah!

This means I can finally book my Benicassim Ticket! See the line-up here…
Nine days camping by the beach in Spain starting on the 12th of July, this gives me 76 days until I have to be beach ready. Fuck my life.

Good day to you all.

xxx

P.s. I also firmed my Uni choices. Scary.

I had forgotten..

Just how satisfying that was.

xxxxxxx

So I'm fine until I eat..

Talk about stating the blinking obvious.

By what I actually mean is, I can go days when I don't eat a thing, and I feel fine - but then as soon as I eat one thing that is slightly naughty; todays example being a cheesey topped salad from tesco, I seem to go into a feeding frenzy...

Cue..
One bowl of pasta,
3 chocolate mini gingerbread men,
2 mini bags of Mcvities cookies,
and TWO BREAD ROLLS

What the fuck is wrong with me..

I'm off to spend some time with a friend I haven't seen in a while, Mia,
which is incidentally probably one of the reasons my arse has gotten so fat.

Fml.

xx