BB,
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that night happened. And I'm sorry I didn't more to stop them.
I was a coward.
And
I've regretted it every day since.
You deserved so much more from me than what I gave.
I am sorry from the bottom of my heart
That you had to find me in the way I was;
all broken.
But I want you to know, that there was nothing you could have done
so I don't ever want you to feel guilty.
And I promise to strive, for the rest of my days if I have to, to make it up to you.
As for now;
you need help.
Like I did.
You need to let me help you. You need to let Lizzie help you.
I know this sounds the most hypocritical thing, but you need to let us close,
all we want is to be there for you.
You will get through this,
you, to me - are simply wonderful.
You're intelligent and beautiful, but this hole that you're in, is trapping you and you need to get out before there's no escape.
_____________________________________________________________________
Time passes.
The library drags.
I eat more than I intend.
Do a little less revision than I intend.
I can't let go of the past.
Why the fuck am I going to do a degree in dwelling on the past?
Fuck.
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